{"id":157447,"date":"2022-08-04T11:09:04","date_gmt":"2022-08-04T18:09:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/?p=157447"},"modified":"2024-04-10T16:06:52","modified_gmt":"2024-04-10T23:06:52","slug":"how-to-get-your-head-around-your-kids-online-gaming-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/how-to-get-your-head-around-your-kids-online-gaming-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Get Your Head Around Your Kids\u2019 Online Gaming Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s be honest – many of us parents aren\u2019t big fans of gaming. In fact, some of us have probably even been known to roll our eyes or groan when we think about just how long our kids spend playing online games. But if there is one thing I\u2019ve learned after 25 years of parenting, it\u2019s that taking the time to look at a stressful family situation from the perspective of my children, can be very powerful. In fact, it can almost always fast track finding a mutually agreeable work-around for everyone \u2013 and gaming is the perfect example. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Why Do Our Kids Love Gaming?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

We have all read about how <\/span>online gaming can provide players with regular hits of dopamine\u00a0<\/span><\/a> –\u00a0 a neurotransmitter in the brain that becomes active when you participate in fun and pleasurable activities. Now I am not disputing this for a moment \u2013 I\u2019ve witnessed it firsthand! However, it is important to remember that dopamine increases whenever we do anything enjoyable \u2013 pop a square of chocolate in our mouth or watch our favorite sporting team win – not just when we play online games.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many online games have cleverly designed built-in reward systems, and many experts believe that it is the combination of dopamine and reward that probably best explains why our kids are such gaming fans. Now, these reward systems are intentionally unpredictable so players are aware they will eventually get a reward, but they have no idea as to when or how often it is coming – so they are compelled to keep playing! Very clever!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In my opinion, gaming also fills several other needs in our children \u2013 the need to belong, to feel competent and be independent. And while we may have had these needs addressed very differently in the 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s – hanging at the bus stop, mastering the Rubix cube and not being helicopter parented, our batch of digital natives will often use gaming as their go-to solution.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Why You Should See Gaming Through The Eyes of Your Child<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

When many of us parents think about our kids\u2019 online gaming, our initial thought is \u2018how do we make our kids stop\u2019. But I can you this isn\u2019t the right approach. Online gaming isn\u2019t going anywhere. So, taking the time to see gaming from your child\u2019s perspective and understand why it is such a big part of their life is where you need to focus your energy. I guarantee this will further strengthen your relationship with your child and help you introduce rules that they will better respect.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a moment to channel the great Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird and focus on his words of inspiration for us all: \u2018\u201cYou never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.\u201d Ah yes \u2013 very wise words!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My Top Tips For A Happy Gaming Family<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

So, if you are keen to stop gaming being a negative issue in your family, here are my top tips to help you get it under control and stop it causing family tension:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Change Your Thinking<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you find yourself thinking \u2018how do I get my kids to stop gaming\u2019, you\u2019re barking up the wrong tree. Gaming isn\u2019t going anywhere and as parents, we don\u2019t want to drive an unnecessary wedge between ourselves and our kids. Instead, commit to having an open mind. Think \u2019Ok, let\u2019s give this gaming thing a go\u2019.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Talk To Your Kids About Their Gaming \u2013 With No Tone<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

When the time is right, ask your kids what their favourite games are and why. Your aim is to get them talking. You could even do your research in advance and drop in the names of a few popular games to ask them about. \u2018My work friend\u2019s son plays Roblox, do you know much about that?\u2019<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Play Along!<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Even if you aren\u2019t that interested, I promise, playing along will open your eyes. You\u2019ll better understand how the game\u2019s reward system works and what it feels like to get a shot of digital dopamine! And most importantly, it will be great for your relationship with your child. By taking the time to play with them, you are showing that you are interested in their life and their hobbies.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Educate Yourself About All Thing Gaming<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When your kids started their social media journey, chances are you spent a little time familiarising yourself with the various platforms they joined. Well, you need to adopt the same approach with their gaming life too. Here are a few areas to focus on:\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n