{"id":169464,"date":"2023-05-15T09:57:20","date_gmt":"2023-05-15T16:57:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/?p=169464"},"modified":"2024-11-19T06:07:02","modified_gmt":"2024-11-19T14:07:02","slug":"is-my-child-being-cyberbullied-or-is-it-just-banter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/is-my-child-being-cyberbullied-or-is-it-just-banter\/","title":{"rendered":"Is My Child Being Cyberbullied Or Is It Just Banter?"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you were to ask me what I consider to be the most attractive attribute in a person, it would be kindness but only closely followed by a sense of humour. There\u2019s something about somebody who can tell a funny story that I just love. And humour can be a great bonding experience for us humans. Laughing over a funny video or sharing a hilarious story is pure friendship gold! But humour can often be murky territory online.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kids Love Humour<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

One of my favourite things about being a mum of boys is the jokes. My boys can make me laugh till I cry. And the jokes and banter they share amongst themselves warms my heart. Sometimes it feels like slapstick comedy other times its brutal and direct and often a little cheeky. Over the years, \u2018safe\u2019 boundaries have been developed for their banter so that no-one gets hurt. But it hasn\u2019t always been perfect. It takes a certain level of maturity and a healthy dose of empathy to know where to draw the line with your humour and, unfortunately, not everyone gets this right.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Is a Joke Just a Joke<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

All friends will joke around with each other, and our tweens and teens are no exception. Whether it\u2019s sharing comments on funny memes or TikTok\u2019s or leaving witty comments on each other\u2019s online posts, online banter can be quite the demonstration of friendship and connection.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is just having fun or trying to ridicule or make fun of another online. Without being able to see someone\u2019s face and read their body language in person, the joker\u2019s intention can often be ambiguous. It may be laughed off with a \u2018just kidding\u2019 or \u2018relax, you\u2019re too serious\u2019. And so, here we are in the grey area. One of the most common questions I am asked by parents is how to differentiate between jokes and cyberbullying online. And my answer is simple.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you feel hurt by a joke or think others are laughing at you (instead of with you) then the joke has gone too far. Yes, we all have different levels of sensitivity but if you are offended then it\u2019s time to take some action. Now, if it continues after asking for it to stop and you are still feeling upset then this is bullying.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It really is simple \u2013 a joke is intended to be humorous without causing harm whereas bullying is intended to cause harm to others. And, of course jokes can sometimes go too far but in most cases an apology and an explanation can remedy any hurt.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When To Take A Stand<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Navigating friendships when you\u2019re in thick of being a teenager can be really tough for some kids particularly those who aren\u2019t as mature or worldly as others. Kids who are a little younger or less experienced with life may feel that they are on the outskirts of their social group. And in my experience, this can be a tough place to be. Regardless of how many times we tell our kids that being popular or accepted doesn\u2019t matter, when you\u2019re 15 it really can. So, if your shy 15-year-old receives a joking message from a kid at school (who he\u2019d like to be friends with) that upsets him, do you need to take action? Or will it jeopardise any chance your child might have to be friends with this child?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I always like to give a person the benefit of the doubt. So, my advice here would be to continue to monitor the situation. If your child receives additional messages that upset him, then he needs to ask the \u2018joker\u2019 to stop. Some kids would be OK to manage this themselves while others might need some help. If they need help, I suggest contacting the school or sporting club that your kids have in common and asking them to intervene. Do not contact the child directly yourself.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Teach Your Kids What To Do If They Are Cyberbullied<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

One of the best things you can do for your kids is ensure they know what to do if they are on the receiving end of behaviour online that they find upsetting. Even if it doesn\u2019t qualify as cyberbullying, having an action plan can empower them. Here\u2019s what I suggest:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If appropriate, ask the bully or \u2018joker\u2019 to stop. If the behaviour continues, then proceed to next step.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Collect evidence \u2013 take screen shots of all communication.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Block the perpetrator \u2013 show your kids how to use these features.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Talk to a trusted adult \u2013 parent, teacher or family member.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Involve the school or sporting club, if appropriate.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. If no luck with the school, report the incident to <\/span>The Office of the eSafety Commissioner<\/span><\/a>. They can work to have offensive material and cyberbullying situations addressed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    It\u2019s often hard to know when to get involved in your teens\u2019 battles. At the end of the day, our job is to help our kids grow into independent adults. But when your gut tells you things are not right then it\u2019s time to start investigating. Insomnia, anxiety, refusing to go to school and a change in the way they use their devices, are all signs they maybe on the receiving end of aggressive online behaviour. And remember, you know your kids better than anyone!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Till Next Time<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Stay Safe Online<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Alex \ud83d\ude42<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    If you were to ask me what I consider to be the most attractive attribute in a person, it would…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":932,"featured_media":169565,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[75,5751],"coauthors":[5150],"class_list":["post-169464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-safety","tag-cyberbullying","tag-tiktok"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIs My Child Being Cyberbullied Or Is It Just Banter? | McAfee Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you were to ask me what I consider to be the most attractive attribute in a person, it would be kindness but only closely followed by a sense of\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is My Child Being Cyberbullied Or Is It Just Banter? 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