{"id":178136,"date":"2023-12-01T07:09:33","date_gmt":"2023-12-01T15:09:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/?p=178136"},"modified":"2024-11-20T21:29:17","modified_gmt":"2024-11-21T05:29:17","slug":"how-to-help-your-teens-stay-safe-when-they-start-dating-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/internet-security\/how-to-help-your-teens-stay-safe-when-they-start-dating-online\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Your Teens Stay Safe When They Start Dating Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the 80\u2019s, train stations and church groups were the key places to meet boys. And despite the fact I tried very hard to keep this side of my life well away from my parents, I know for a fact that they worried!! Well, some things have clearly changed with social media and dating apps providing unlimited opportunities for teens to connect with romantic partners across the world. But one thing definitely hasn\u2019t changed \u2013 parents are still worrying!!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Are All Teens Meeting Partners Online?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Despite what we may think, school is still the main place teens find their romantic partners according to a fascinating research study entitled: <\/span>\u2018Adolescents\u2019 Partner Search in the Digital Age: Correlates and Characteristics of Relationships Initiated Online\u2019<\/span><\/a>. But second to this is the internet. The internet (including social media) even trumps \u2018friends, parties and neighbourhoods\u2019 as the 2<\/span>nd<\/span> most common place where adolescents meet their significant other.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Interestingly, the report also highlights the different types of kids who gravitate towards online dating. According to the research, girls who find it harder to fit in at school were more likely to initiate and find romantic relationships online rather than pursue them in person. This was the same for teens looking to pursue same-sex relationships. Overall, there were multiple examples of how the internet has become a \u2018social intermediary\u2019 for teens who may struggle with in-person social connection.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Should I Be Worried? Is It Safe?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

I want to make it very clear that this post isn\u2019t designed to scare you or have you immediately remove all devices from your teen \u2013 although I get why it\u2019s tempting! Instead, I want to help you, help your kids navigate online dating.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By now, we all know that there are both challenges and risks being online. Some of us navigate these with ease while others don\u2019t. In my opinion, a teen\u2019s ability to think critically, pick up social cues and manage conflict will have a direct impact on their ability to navigate their online life and that includes online dating.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, yes there are risks \u2013 your teen may experience harassment, discrimination, sextortion, scams or cyberstalking. And of course, these are big heavy possibilities that no-one wants their child to experience. But you have to remember that for our kids, meeting someone online is just as normal as it was for my friends and I to meet boys at the local train station. In fact, it may even be less overwhelming as they can \u2018google\u2019 potential love matches and find friends of friends who can vouch for them or warn them away.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of being worried, focus on helping your teen have a positive and safe online dating experience.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How To Set Your Teens Up For Success<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s completely natural to be hesitant about your teen dating online \u2013 I\u2019ve been there! And yes, talking about their budding love life may be a bit uncomfortable. But, when there are some pretty large risks at play, you\u2019re just going to have to push through on the awkwardness. Here are my top tips:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Research<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Take some time to research the various dating sites. Read the reviews, browse the community guidelines and understand how they verify users. The larger dating sites are for over 18s \u2013 think <\/span>Hinge<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Bumble<\/span><\/a> and <\/span>Tinder<\/span><\/a> however let\u2019s keep it real \u2013 it\u2019s not that hard to \u2018fudge\u2019 your age. So even if your teen is under 18, I\u2019d still do some due diligence here. In recent years, under 18 dating sites have cropped up. <\/span>Mylol<\/span><\/a>, the self-proclaimed \u201c#1 teen network in the world\u201d, is probably the most popular platform followed by <\/span>Skout<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But traditional dating sites are not the only way teens meet potential love interests online. It\u2019s not uncommon for kids to start messaging other kids whose profile they may have come across on <\/span>Snapchat<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Discord<\/span><\/a> or even while gaming on <\/span>Fortnite<\/span><\/a>. You may have heard the expression ‘slide into your DMs’ \u2013 that means that someone has sent you a direct message on social media, most commonly for romantic purposes!!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Communication<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Once you understand how it all works \u2013 you\u2019ll be able to speak with more \u2018weight\u2019 to your teen. So, push through the awkwardness and start talking. If there is a lot of pushback from your teen, you might need to go slow. Why not share articles about online dating? Or, relay stories and experiences from your friends and their kids? Always reserve judgment and stay calm and neutral. Why not help them work out what they want by asking open and non-judgemental questions e.g. Is it a committed relationship or just a \u2018fling\u2019? This may help them work out the best platform and also manage their expectations.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Encourage Boundaries<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Once the awkwardness has gone, you should start talking about healthy relationship boundaries. It\u2019s important they understand how to set parameters, so they are safe and respected. They need to know that:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n