{"id":37693,"date":"2014-09-09T05:00:49","date_gmt":"2014-09-09T12:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.mcafee.com\/?p=37693"},"modified":"2025-08-27T09:17:42","modified_gmt":"2025-08-27T16:17:42","slug":"40-phrases-child-needs-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/40-phrases-child-needs-hear\/","title":{"rendered":"40 Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With school back in full swing our house has transitioned almost instantly from long, fun summer days to tighter schedules, shiny new\u00a0goals, and more abbreviated, almost code-like conversation. When life shifts into a busy season it\u2019s easy to become more about the task and less about the consistent, verbal connection with your kids. Don&#8217;t let it happen.<\/p>\n<p>While there\u2019s not an affirmation app for that\u2014you do have everything you need in the six inches between your head and your heart to fill up your child\u2019s tank. Affirming words, when properly applied,\u00a0have the power to motivate a child and shape his or her attitude about themselves and where they stand in the world.<\/p>\n<p><em>But take note:<\/em>\u00a0Studies show that praise is not created equal and can backfire if it\u2019s hollow or undeserved. I think we\u2019ve all met \u201cthat\u201d kid who takes an emotional nosedive when he figures out his parents exaggerated his praise and that he\u00a0<em>is not<\/em>\u00a0the center of the universe.<\/p>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/healthland.time.com\/2013\/02\/12\/good-boy-theres-a-better-way-to-praise-your-kids\/#ixzz2KzO0hvOk\">2013 study<\/a> from the University of Chicago and Stanford University found that the kind of praise you give your child matters. For instance, \u201cPerson\u201d praise (\u201cyou are awesome\u201d \u201cyou are so smart\u201d) is performance focused while \u201cProcess\u201d praise (\u201cyou worked really hard\u201d \u201clook how far you\u2019ve come\u201d) focused will build self-esteem and problem solving skills.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>40\u00a0phrases every child\u00a0needs to hear:\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li><em>I love you. (Wear this phrase out! There\u2019s just no way to overdo it!)<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I\u2019m really proud of the way you handled that.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I apologize. Will you forgive me?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I was wrong. You were right. Let\u2019s fix it.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Wow. Will you show me how you did that?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You are a treasure in our family.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Your idea has a lot of merit.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Thank you. That was very thoughtful of you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I love you exactly the way you are.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I forgive you. The slate is clean.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It\u2019s the hard thing, but it\u2019s the right thing.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It\u2019s okay. Everyone makes mistakes.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>My love for you isn\u2019t based on your performance.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I know this is hard but you can do hard things.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Thank you for sharing your heart with me.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Wow! I can tell you put a lot of time into this!<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>We are family and family sticks together.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It\u2019s impossible to fail when learning is the goal.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It\u2019s okay to cry.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>What\u2019s your opinion?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Don\u2019t compare yourself to others because you are one of a kind.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Spending time with you is one of my favorite things to do.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Way to go. You stuck with it and it paid off.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You are beautiful\u2014inside and out.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You can count on me.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I\u2019m not perfect and I don\u2019t expect you to be either.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>There\u2019s nothing you can do that can make me stop loving you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Choosing to do that was brave.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>That sounds tough. What did you decide to do?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Go ahead, I\u2019m listening.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I trust you to do the right thing.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Whenever you are ready, the door is always open.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>That\u2019s interesting. I never thought of it that way.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You are doing great.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Thank you for helping out.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Whatever you decide, I support you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I never thought of it that way. Great point!<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Everyone defines success differently.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>What opportunity does this disappointment open up?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>The answer is no. (No is one of the most loving affirmations you can give your child. It may not be what they want to hear but \u2018no\u2019 puts necessary and realistic boundaries up. And when kids have boundaries, they know they are loved!)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><em><strong>\u00a0What are some of your favorite\u00a0phrases? We&#8217;d love to add them to our list. Please share!\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Toni Birdsong<\/em><em> is a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/author\/toni-birdsong\/\">Family Safety Evangelist<\/a> to <a title=\"McAfee\" href=\"https:\/\/home.mcafee.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">McAfee<\/a>. You can find her on Twitter <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/safeeyes\">@SafeEyes<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With school back in full swing our house has transitioned almost instantly from long, fun summer days to tighter schedules,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":642,"featured_media":149275,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[2205],"coauthors":[3359],"class_list":["post-37693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-safety","tag-protecting-kids-online"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>40 Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear | McAfee Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"With school back in full swing our house has 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