{"id":45769,"date":"2015-10-27T05:00:47","date_gmt":"2015-10-27T12:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.mcafee.com\/?p=45769"},"modified":"2025-08-27T02:17:11","modified_gmt":"2025-08-27T09:17:11","slug":"10-ways-help-kids-deal-digital-friction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/10-ways-help-kids-deal-digital-friction\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal with Digital Friction"},"content":{"rendered":"

Has your teen been a little moody lately, short-tempered, or even oddly quiet? Outside of the normal teen angst, there\u00a0could be some digital friction\u00a0going on\u00a0beneath that tentative smile. An off-color joke, a false accusation, a mean comment, an unreturned text; all of these peer slights can cause an\u00a0emotional avalanche in any\u00a0teen.<\/p>\n

Clear communication is fast becoming the holy grail of the digital world. Think about it: As adults, we\u00a0mess up\u00a0the most simple digital conversations every day.\u00a0Something is bound to go awry when critical communication pegs\u00a0such as\u00a0context and intention become casualties living in the crossfire of\u00a0clipped, 140-character updates.<\/p>\n

Can you imagine what that’s\u00a0like for a tween or\u00a0teen with a fraction of the\u00a0communication skills of most adults? Sometimes the conflict becomes a brief, awkward interchange that\u2019s quickly extinguished. Other times, a miscommunication can escalate into a broken friendship, cyberbullying, and even\u00a0threatening off-line encounters.<\/p>\n

If your kids use\u00a0social networks (and we include email and texting in that definition) then they are clicking (often unaware)\u00a0through potential digital minefields each day.<\/p>\n

How do you guide your kids through this potentially explosive territory?<\/p>\n

Here are 10 tips to help your teen handle digital friction:<\/strong><\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. Be (quietly) proactive. <\/strong>As author Maya Angelou said, when we know better, we can do better. Listening is the first step to understanding your kids and listening (monitoring) online is the first step in teaching them to handle conflict. By periodically monitoring\u00a0your child’s\u00a0online conversations, you will begin to see patterns in their communication style that could get them into trouble. Be discerning about what you choose to bring up and when.<\/li>\n
  2. Teach don\u2019t preach.<\/strong>\u00a0An online conflict is a powerful teaching moment, don’t waste it. Take the time to teach\u00a0your child the power of not\u00a0responding,\u00a0considering\u00a0another person’s\u00a0perspective, and showing empathy. Discuss\u00a0the pros and cons of writing online versus face-to-face conversation. Explain the challenges inherent to the online space, the weight of words, and the importance of responding with \u201cI\u201d not \u201cyou.\u201d Avoid the temptation to sit down and lecture. Rather, fold your teaching about online issues into the everyday conversation.<\/li>\n
  3. Discuss\u00a0objectivity.\u00a0<\/strong>Help your child or teen go back over the dialogue that led up to the conflict and evaluate it objectively to determine if they might be responsible for the rift. If your child\u2019s language, humor, or response led to the conflict, have him or her take responsibility for that and apologize.<\/li>\n
  4. Log off, chill out.<\/strong> Rather than firing off a response, teach your kids how to log off and step back from the conflict. Depending on the level of emotion, this may require a few hours or even a few days dedicated to a cooling off period.\u00a0With a little space, the disagreement\u00a0may emerge in an entirely different light.<\/li>\n
  5. Encourage privacy.<\/strong>\u00a0Sending a private message to the person is an option most kids may not think about when trying to extinguish an\u00a0online conflict. Encourage your child to resolve the conflict out of the public eye where things can easily escalate.<\/li>\n
  6. Face-to-face resolution.<\/strong>\u00a0Another option that gets sidelined in today’s digital arena is face-to-face resolution.\u00a0Encourage your child to pick up the phone or meet and talk through the conflict if the situation fits that scenario.<\/li>\n
  7. Intentional monitoring.<\/strong> There\u2019s basic monitoring, such as regularly checking feeds and emails, and there\u2019s intentional monitoring<\/em> such as filtering software for both online and mobile. Filtering software will monitor (and report) your child\u2019s online conversations 24\/7 alerting you to words, content, chats, or texts that reveal dangerous interactions and harsh or suggestive language.<\/li>\n
  8. Teach kids to train their\u00a0anxiety.\u00a0<\/strong>Match the worry to the relationship. Ask your child: Were you close to the person you are fighting with or were they a stranger prone to spar with anyone online? There are such things as Internet trolls<\/a> who start trouble for sport online and you should not feed them. Read the person\u2019s feed\/wall\/blog to get a full picture of whom your child is dealing. Determine if the issue is worthy to pursue, if not\u2014encourage them to ignore it and let it go.<\/li>\n
  9. Report abusive conflicts.<\/strong> Sometimes a conflict can escalate beyond practical resolution.\u00a0Know how to report abuse on Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, and Snapchat<\/a>\u00a0and alert local authorities if a conflict\u00a0escalates to physical threats. \u00a0You will find \u201creport\u201d tabs in the help section of all social networks.<\/li>\n
  10. Affirm your support.<\/strong>\u00a0It’s important to hear your child out\u00a0and stay on their team.\u00a0The trust you build with your child in a tense\u00a0situation matters. If your child is the\u00a0target in a conflict, they will need your compassion and support. If they are the\u00a0one causing the conflict, they will need you to lovingly but firmly guide them\u00a0to higher ground. Either way, let them know, you are\u00a0on their team.The Internet\u00a0is a messy place and words can go friendly to firey\u00a0in one-click flat. Be there for your kids; lead them, coach them, and use online conflicts shape them into better digital citizens and confident communicators.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Have your kids gotten into hot water with peers online?\u00a0What did your family learn? Please share!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Toni Birdsong is a Family Safety Evangelist<\/a> to McAfee<\/a>. You can find her on Twitter @McAfee_Family<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Has your teen been a little moody lately, short-tempered, or even oddly quiet? Outside of the normal teen angst, there\u00a0could…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":642,"featured_media":201444,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[75,100,2205,321],"coauthors":[3359],"class_list":["post-45769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-safety","tag-cyberbullying","tag-facebook","tag-protecting-kids-online","tag-social-networking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n10 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal with Digital Friction | McAfee Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Has your teen been a little moody lately, short-tempered, or even oddly quiet? 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