{"id":46933,"date":"2016-01-12T06:24:12","date_gmt":"2016-01-12T14:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.mcafee.com\/?p=46933"},"modified":"2025-08-27T01:44:58","modified_gmt":"2025-08-27T08:44:58","slug":"helping-kids-cope-with-three-bs-bragging-betrayal-body-image","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/helping-kids-cope-with-three-bs-bragging-betrayal-body-image\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Teens Cope with Three Bs: Bragging, Betrayal, Body Image"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-46937 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/securingtomorrow.mcafee.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Listen-1-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"teen body image, empathy, power of listening\" width=\"407\" height=\"271\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/Listen-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/Listen-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/Listen-1.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 407px) 100vw, 407px\" \/>The three Bs \u2014 bragging, betrayal, and body Image \u2014 are a very big deal for both tweens and teens building communities in the digital world. If your child is between the ages of 11 and 18, your family will likely weave in and out of the Three Bs in the year ahead. A snapshot:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Bragging:<\/strong>\u00a0The 24-7 social connection has produced an overload of kids comparing material possessions, social status as well as boasting athletic, academic, or artistic ability. A child of any age needs help keeping this digital onslaught in its proper perspective. On the flip side, he or she may need counsel from time to time on tempering their own bragging.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Betrayal:<\/strong> Raising connected kids means the year ahead will hold some painful moments, even some real (or perceived) betrayal. Be it a friend group excluding your child or a friendship or love relationship that ends badly, much of the pain is likely to unfold (and be amplified) online.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Body Image:<\/strong> This B needs little if any explanation. Your child is going to be faced with the non-stop tidal wave of beauty and perfection no matter what. They need help deciphering the visual world around them \u2014 what&#8217;s real, imagined, and what&#8217;s relevant.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you are a parent, looking at these challenges and figuring out how to help a struggling child with them, can feel a lot like standing at the bottom of a high rise and looking up. Where do you begin? How can your words make an impact on your child when so many other voices seem to edge you out?<\/p>\n<p>You listen.<\/p>\n<p>How many times as parents do we slather on the advice or throw down the gauntlet\u00a0without truly stopping to listen with the intention of truly and understanding our kids? Yes, we are older and (hopefully) wiser than they. We\u2019ve experienced a lot, and that experience is both relevant and valuable.<\/p>\n<p>But there is <em>one thing<\/em> that is far more relevant and far more valuable than our experience and that is\u00a0<em>listening first to theirs.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Listening = Magic\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Something magical happens when we listen to our kids before we speak: We understand. We understand their point of view, their feelings, and get the McAfee on some facts that may dramatically change\u00a0our entire point of view.<\/p>\n<p>Listening with the intent to understand has the power to change everything about your relationship with your child no matter his or her age.<\/p>\n<p>Steven Covey, author of the well-known book\u00a0<em>7 Habits of Highly Successful People, <\/em>ranks listening as the #5 most powerful tool in building any relationship.\u00a0I read this book once a year, and for parents specifically, it\u2019s habit #5 that stands out: <em>Seek first to understand, then to be understood<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Covey differentiates between five types of listening:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Ignoring:<\/strong> not really listening at all.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Pretending:<\/strong> humming along while not really following.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Selective\u00a0listening:<\/strong> hearing what you want to hear.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Attentive\u00a0listening:<\/strong> paying attention to the words.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Empathic\u00a0listening:<\/strong> intending to understand what the other is trying to communicate.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>I\u2019ll confess; I\u2019ve got some mad skills when it comes to #3. Okay . . . I\u2019m pretty much the best at #3. Frankly, I think I know what my kids are thinking because I\u2019ve been a teenager but actually, I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know at all. I don\u2019t know what my child\u2019s <em>personal <\/em>experience is in <em>her school<\/em>, with <em>her friends<\/em>, and in <em>her world<\/em>. Most importantly, I certainly don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on in her heart.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-46938 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/securingtomorrow.mcafee.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_60170320-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"shutterstock_60170320\" width=\"270\" height=\"405\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_60170320-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_60170320.jpg 667w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>More honesty? I\u2019m pretty sure my go-to is #3 because it\u2019s easier. It\u2019s easier to talk than it is to listen. It\u2019s easier to have my speech prepped and delivered without stopping to consider new information, new insight, new feelings. It\u2019s easier to pull quips of wisdom from <em>my bag of experience<\/em> than it is to take the time to consider her experience around a certain issue.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The power of empathy<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Empathetic listening \u2014 seeking to understand your child \u2014 will be key to helping your child through the Three Bs.<\/p>\n<p>According to Covey, if you are serious about understanding the people around you, give them your <em>undivided attention<\/em>. He calls this emotional banking.<\/p>\n<p>Here are the four levels of empathetic listening:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Mimic the content<\/em>: repeat what your child just said. This practice ensures you are listening and that your child <em>knows<\/em> you are listening. The good thing about mimicking is that there\u2019s no place for judgment;<\/li>\n<li><em>Rephrase the content<\/em>: tell the same story, but in your own words. This not only shows your child that you are listening, but that you understand what he or she is (literally) saying;<\/li>\n<li><em>Reflect on feelings<\/em>: focus on the emotions that lie behind what your child is saying, not on the words that try to express these emotions;<\/li>\n<li><em>Rephrase the content\u00a0and\u00a0reflect the feeling<\/em>: this is a combination of the second and third form of empathic listening. It shows that you are truly listening and understanding\u00a0what message lies behind the words.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It sounds a little complicated but Covey\u2019s points can be whittled down to this:\u00a0<em>Practice empathy. Stop talking and listen to your child. Make every effort to understand his or her perspective and feelings.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>How do you hope to improve your parent-child relationship in 2016? Please share!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The three Bs \u2014 bragging, betrayal, and body Image \u2014 are a very big deal for both tweens and teens&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":642,"featured_media":97796,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[2205,321],"coauthors":[3359],"class_list":["post-46933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-safety","tag-protecting-kids-online","tag-social-networking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Helping Teens Cope with Three Bs: Bragging, Betrayal, Body Image | McAfee Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bragging, betrayal, and body Image:\u00a0The three Bs is a very big deal for both tweens and teens online. 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