{"id":70059,"date":"2017-03-07T06:00:08","date_gmt":"2017-03-07T14:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/securingtomorrow.mcafee.com\/?p=70059"},"modified":"2025-08-26T20:31:28","modified_gmt":"2025-08-27T03:31:28","slug":"the-pros-and-cons-of-snooping-on-your-kids-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/the-pros-and-cons-of-snooping-on-your-kids-online\/","title":{"rendered":"What are the Pros and Cons of Snooping on Your Kids Online?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve changed my mind on the snooping question quite a bit since I began writing about family safety over five years ago. I\u2019ve had to. Technology has dramatically changed all of us<\/em> in that short time.<\/p>\n

Still, at least once a month a parent asks me, \u201cHow much should I really be snooping on my child online?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The answer to that question varies depending on your child\u2019s age, maturity, and attitude toward online responsibility and safety.<\/p>\n

A new study may also help you answer that question. The study recently reported on extensively in Forbes<\/a>, sheds important light on how teens and parents communicate about risky situations online. The summary of that study: A lot happens online that kids don\u2019t share with parents out of embarrassment and\/or fear of punishment. The solution, say researchers: Better communication with your kids as the #1 way to help kids steer clear of risky digital behaviors.<\/p>\n

The safety community, in general, has moved from an attitude of protection to preparation<\/em>. The thinking?Invest your parenting muscle into building a healthy relationship with your kids \u2014 and putting communication and connection over fear and cyber stalking.<\/p>\n

Ah, the pros and cons.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Monitoring has its merits but also comes with inherent drawbacks. Again, each parent has to find a balance that works in the context of his or her family.<\/p>\n

The upside to monitoring, of course, is knowing where your kids go online, who they connect with, and the influencers (good and bad) in their lives. This is never a bad idea. Periodic monitoring renders valuable insight. By monitoring (okay, let’s just call it snooping) parents can coach, teach, and if needed, steer kids clear of potentially risky or emotionally damaging situations. You can discover situations such as cyberbullying, online harassment, conflict, sexual solicitations, and emotional issues kids of any age simply aren’t prepared to handle. It\u2019s hard to argue against at least some monitoring when you know these issues\u00a0are a very real part of kids’ lives today.<\/p>\n

Still, the cons of snooping are huge, especially when the main goal is preparing our kids to handle online risks themselves. Snooping can break trust and set back communication. The chilling effect sets in. Kids get afraid to share what’s really going on because parents can overreact. Monitoring is also seen as an invasion of privacy \u2014 kind of like reading a child’s journal \u2014 and make mutual trust nearly impossible.<\/p>\n

So it comes back to you, parent and getting brutally honest about the reality of your family dynamic. What is the quality of communication and degree of trust between you and your child? What’s the tone of your parenting \u2014 is it overly protective or proactive toward preparation? What can you do to begin moving that needle in favor of equipping? Here are a few ways to get your teen talking<\/a> that we’ve shared in the past.<\/p>\n

The study, outlined in Forbes, also offered great insight from researchers for parents who want to improve communication with kids about digital issues.<\/p>\n

Communication Tips:<\/strong><\/h2>\n