{"id":73539,"date":"2024-06-20T05:44:07","date_gmt":"2024-06-20T12:44:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/securingtomorrow.mcafee.com\/?p=73539"},"modified":"2025-05-12T02:03:09","modified_gmt":"2025-05-12T09:03:09","slug":"teens-date-digital-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/teens-date-digital-age\/","title":{"rendered":"How Teens Date in the Digital Age"},"content":{"rendered":"

Falling in love in the internet age is a whole different ball game to the social-media-free ’70s, ’80s and ’90s. Awkward calls on the home phone, sending cards in the mail, and making mixtapes were all key relationship milestones back in the days of roller skates. But fast forward to the new millennium and dating is a whole different sport.<\/p>\n

No longer are teens relying on their friends and family for introductions to new love interests, it\u2019s all doable online thanks to the plethora of available dating apps and social media platforms. So it\u2019s no surprise that research confirms that meeting online has officially displaced the traditional ways romantic partnerships were formed<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But how does it actually work? How do teens really connect online? Is it just about the dating apps? What about Instagram? Don\u2019t they also use messaging apps to meet? And what does \u2018benching\u2019 and \u2018beta-testing\u2019 mean?<\/p>\n

A Safe Online Journey<\/h2>\n

Ah, yes I know it can feel overwhelming but don\u2019t stress \u2013 I got you! I\u2019ve put together all the key information you need to know if you have kids who are starting their online dating journey.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. It\u2019s Not Just About Dating Apps<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    When many of us think about online dating, we think about the major dating apps like Tinder and Bumble however that\u2019s actually not where it all happens. In fact, many teens inform me that it really is all about Instagram, Snapchat, and increasingly, TikTok. I am reliably informed that these social media platforms give you a more authentic understanding of someone \u2013 great! But, in my opinion, there are potential safety issues with using social media to attract a mate. Particularly, if you have a young, inexperienced teen on your hands.<\/p>\n

    In order for people to be able to follow you on these platforms (and send you messages), you need to have your profile set to public. So, if you have a young, na\u00efve teen who has their social media accounts set to public to ramp up their love life, then I consider this to be a safety concern. They can receive messages from anyone which is not ideal.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Relationships Develop Online – Even If They First Meet In Person<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      In 2024, chances are your teens will not meet a potential mate in real life (IRL) \u2013 it all happens online. But even on the rare chance they do first meet in person, or they eyeball someone they fancy across the school playground, the relationship will develop online. That\u2019s where the magic happens!<\/p>\n

      So instead of multiple landline telephone calls to friends to \u2018suss out\u2019 their crush, they spend multiple hours researching their crush online. They\u2019ll check out and dissect their photos and posts, find all their social media accounts, and then, depending on their level of courage, they may follow all their accounts. Colloquially, this is often referred to as \u2018social media stalking\u2019.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Liking Posts and Commenting Is How To Get Noticed<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Once they\u2019ve built up the courage, teens may start liking the posts of their crush. Some may even go back over old social media posts and photos from several years back to demonstrate their level of interest. This is known as \u2018deepliking\u2019. Some teens think this is an effective strategy, others consider this to be off-putting \u2013 each to their own!! But the goal here is to put yourself on the radar of your crush.<\/p>\n

        Now, once the \u2018likes\u2019 have gathered some momentum, the teen may decide it\u2019s time to \u2018slide into their crush\u2019s DM\u2019s\u2019. Ah \u2013 there\u2019s that expression. All it really means is that your teen will send a direct message to their love interest \u2013 usually on a social media app such as Instagram or TikTok.<\/p>\n

        But they may not even need to \u2018slide into the DM\u2019s\u2019. I am reliably informed that if you like a few posts of a potential love interest and then, they like a few of yours, you\u2019re flirting and there\u2019s definitely a spark!! The love interest may then just be the one initiating interest.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Be Prepared For A Lot Of Messaging <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Now, if there is a spark and the crush has replied, the next phase is messaging \u2013 and a lot of it! Potentially 1000\u2019s of messages. I have first-hand experience of paying a telephone bill for someone (no names) who was super smitten with a girl in the days before unlimited data. All I can say is ouch!!!<\/p>\n

          Now this messaging may take place on a social media app, a messaging app such as WhatsApp, Messenger, or even via text. Or possibly even a combination of them all!! The key here is to keep the messaging going to suss out whether there is a vibe!<\/p>\n

          But the messaging stage is where it can get messy and confusing. It\u2019s not unusual for teens to be messaging with several potential love interests at once \u2013 essentially keeping their options open. Some refer to this as \u2018beta-testing\u2019, I would refer to it as disrespectful and probably exhausting \u2013 but hey, I\u2019m old school! But this is often a reality for many teens, and it can be quite demoralising to feel like you\u2019re being \u2018managed\u2019.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Let\u2019s Make It Instagram Official<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Now, this is a big moment. When your teen and their crush have decided they are exclusive and officially a thing, the next step is to let the world know and make it official. So, they may choose to update their status on their social media platforms to \u2018in a relationship\u2019. But if they are after a softer launch, they may simply post a pic of each other, or even together.<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Is Sexting Really a Thing?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Believe it or not, some teens may never actually meet in real life (IRL) but still be in a relationship. If this is the case then it\u2019s more likely that sexting will be part of the relationship. Research shows that 1 in 3 Aussie teens (aged 14 to 17) have some experience with sexting<\/a> ie sending, receiving, being asked, and asking for nude pics however I think in reality, it is likely more \u2013 not everyone answers surveys honestly!<\/p>\n

              So, yes sexting does happen and while I wish it just didn\u2019t, we can\u2019t put our heads in the sand. So, I encourage all parents to remind their kids that once they send an image they lose control of it, that not all relationships last forever, and that they should never be coerced into doing something they are not comfortable with. Stay tuned for further posts with more sexting tips!<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Some Good Things Will Come To An End <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                At the risk of being a cynic, chances are your child\u2019s teen relationships will probably not last a lifetime. So, how do you break up when you\u2019re a digital native?<\/p>\n

                Well, before the break-up phase, \u2018benching\u2019 can occur. This happens when one partner no longer wants to meet up with the other in person. It may also be the moment when your teen\u2019s messages are no longer returned \u2013 this is called LOR \u2013 left on read. Most of us would call this ghosting. But regardless of what you call it, it\u2019s not a nice feeling.<\/p>\n

                Call me old fashioned but I am a big fan of breaking up with your love in person and my boys know that. Tapering off contact or telling someone that the relationship is over via text is disrespectful, in my opinion.<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. Picking Up The Pieces<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  Helping kids through heartache is tough \u2013 I\u2019ve been there!! If your teen is finding life post-relationship hard, why don\u2019t you suggest they delete their social media apps for a week or 2? It\u2019s hard to move on from someone when you are still receiving messages and\/or seeing their notifications. It may even be worth unfriending or unfollowing the ex as well.<\/p>\n

                  So, even though the landscape has changed, and the mixtapes have gone, please don\u2019t forget that dating and romance can be super tricky when you are a teen. Not only are you dealing with matters of the heart but in the world\u2019s biggest public forum \u2013 the internet. So be kind, gentle, and supportive! And be grateful for the simplicity of the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s.<\/p>\n

                  Alex xx<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                  Falling in love in the internet age is a whole different ball game to the social-media-free ’70s, ’80s and ’90s….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":932,"featured_media":194809,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[4222,321],"coauthors":[5150],"class_list":["post-73539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-safety","tag-social-media","tag-social-networking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow Teens Date in the Digital Age | McAfee Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Falling in love in the internet age is a whole different ball game to the social-media-free '70s, '80s and '90s. 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