{"id":98709,"date":"2020-02-15T07:00:25","date_gmt":"2020-02-15T15:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"\/blogs\/?p=98709"},"modified":"2025-08-20T08:38:46","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T15:38:46","slug":"timeless-principles-to-help-your-child-develop-social-superpowers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcafee.com\/blogs\/family-safety\/timeless-principles-to-help-your-child-develop-social-superpowers\/","title":{"rendered":"Timeless Principles to Help Your Child Develop Social Superpowers"},"content":{"rendered":"

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” ~ Dale Carnegie<\/em><\/p>\n

Each year it\u2019s my tradition to re-read a handful of books that continue to shape my perspective. One of those books is the 1936 self-help classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People<\/em> by Dale Carnegie.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll admit, I\u2019ve never liked the book\u2019s overly-schmoozy title, but its content is gold. And 84 years later, it\u2019s still relevant to our ongoing family discussion<\/a> of how to model leadership and get a more meaningful return on our digital connections.<\/p>\n

Slow down, look around<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It has become easy, and almost habitual, to move fast, skim content, and make quick judgments<\/a>. We upload details about ourselves, our opinions, our activities, our agendas, our wins.<\/p>\n

Carnegie\u2019s approach (condensed and paraphrased): Slow down and look around. Take a genuine interest in the people around you. Make room for different points of view. Steer clear of drama, criticizing others, and conflict. And never make anyone feel \u201cless than.\u201d<\/p>\n

Social superpowers<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Carnegie\u2019s principles, applied online, are tools parents can use to help kids develop their social superpowers. The simple act of slowing down and listening instead of clicking is a big step toward more genuine connections.<\/p>\n

On the safety side, slowing down can help kids become more aware of and avoid threats<\/a> such as cyberbullying, scams, catfishing, and online conflict.<\/p>\n

Here are a few more Carnegie power tips (condensed and paraphrased) to help build up your family\u2019s social superpowers.<\/p>\n

More meaningful connections<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Take a genuine interest in others.<\/strong> \u201cIf we want to make friends, let\u2019s do things for other people \u2013 things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Encourage your child to step out of the \u201cselfie\u201d mindset as a first step in forming more genuine friendships online (as opposed to amassing followers). Brainstorm ways to do this. Maybe it’s more face-to-face time with known friends, keeping track of other people\u2019s birthdays, and hand-writing cards and sending them in the mail. Paying attention to the details of a person\u2019s life \u2014 their hobbies, family members, values, and goals \u2014 is the heartbeat of a real friendship.<\/p>\n

Smile, be welcoming.<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cActions speak louder than words, and a smile says, \u2018I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Sounds simple but a smile \u2014 in this case, the way we welcome others online \u2014 can go a long way. The attitude we express through our online interactions communicates can make or break our relationships and reputation.<\/p>\n

Encourage your child to review and delete negative or harmful content<\/a> that lacks a spirit of inclusion and kindness. Our social profiles may be the first impression others \u2014 including teachers, colleges, and employers \u2014 may have of us.<\/p>\n

Another plus: Choosing a digital \u201csmile\u201d when we post (over drama and making fun) sends a powerful message that can ease cyberbullying, build empathy, and be a source of strength for others who may be struggling.<\/p>\n

Note: Choosing to smile online as a general principle doesn\u2019t include faking it or only sharing a heavily-edited or overly positive version of your life. Be real. Be honest. Be you.<\/p>\n

Affirm others.<\/strong> \u201c. . . a sure way to [people\u2019s] hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you realize their importance and recognize it sincerely.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Everyone person on the planet has a fundamental need to be noticed and feel valued. With the amount of anxiety, depression, body image issues, and cyberbullying kids face online, what young person couldn\u2019t use a genuine word of encouragement?<\/p>\n

Discuss the many ways to affirm others on and offline. Encourage your child to be aware and willing to complement the strengths of others, cheer on accomplishments, and support a cause or passion they\u2019ve expressed.<\/p>\n

Avoid arguments and criticizing others.<\/strong> \u201cCriticism is dangerous because it wounds a person\u2019s precious pride, hurts his [or her] sense of importance, and arouses resentment.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

If we could all master these two Carnegie principles online, the world\u2019s collective mental health might be on a happier, healthier trajectory.<\/p>\n

Encourage your child to pay attention to his or her emotions and avoid engaging others if they feel angry, anxious, or tired. Discuss the importance of empathy and forgiveness<\/a>. Challenge them to allow others to express their ideas without judgment.<\/p>\n

Avoiding conflict doesn\u2019t mean you ignore injustice or become a doormat. On the contrary, responding with grace in a tense situation requires strength and self-control \u2014 especially when it comes to trolls and bullies.<\/p>\n

Carnegie wrote his book during the Great Depression when the practice optimism and simple truths were critical to a person\u2019s hope. So, some perspectives will feel odd or pass\u00e9. But stick with it. Savor and apply the gems and enjoy the process of deepening your digital connections.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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